Family bonds

Oct. 8, 2012

Sometimes it’s hard for me to think about the fact I’ve had a full-time job for over 10 months now (after being without a job for the previous three plus years. The fact that one of the main reasons I created this site was to keep my web skills sharp as well as share the great experiences I was able to share with Nathan, giving him more focus than many special need dads could do.

As many have noticed, having a job has taken a toll on how much time I can dedicate to keeping this site up to date. It’s been great for our family finances and my self-esteem, but it also makes kinks in the schedule harder, especially for Annette. I’ve never considered this site an obligation, but it sometimes has fallen to the wayside due to not having enough hours in the day.

Having a full-time position has also limited somewhat the number of hours I spend with Nathan on a daily basis. Granted it’s not the only factor as he now attends a full-day school 5 days a week, instead of the 3-4 half-days he had, where I was the primary mode of transportation to and from each of those days.

A few weeks back I arrived home after a long stressful day at work looking forward to seeing Annette and Nathan as they’re home before I get there. I came into the house and set my things down. I walked into the family room where Nathan was playing on the floor as Annette was getting dinner ready. Nathan greeted me with a big smile and started making his way over to see me.

It didn’t take long before he was trying to convince me to take him outside either in his walker or on his bike. I tried to make a deal with him, that we could go, but he’d have to let me change my clothes first. He didn’t seem overly receptive to my request as when someone leaves the room it may be a while before they come back. Like any car salesman, Nathan tried to convince you to do something now, without time to think over all the other items trying to sneak in a little bit of your time.

I promised all I wanted to do was change clothes and I’d be right back. I headed upstairs, kicked off my shoes and took off my dress socks, unbuttoned my shirt, and contemplated just changing shoes and heading outside in my white cotton shirt and casual work pants. I then had the thought, “Gosh Kevin, you’ve officially turned into your dad.”

Growing up, I remember trying to steal some of my dad’s time as he would get home from work. As he would walk up the driveway while I was shooting baskets at the hoop over the garage, I have to admit I’d sometimes intentionally not go after a ball that would roll in his direction, just to get him to pass it back or take a shot himself.

I knew he had lots of things to do at home, but if he got the ball in his hand, put up a shot (especially if he made it) he just might be able to play a few minutes. Generally speaking, the only chance it would happen is if he rushed through his wind-down process and come out before too many other things grabbed his time.

Some thirty years later, I now have the feeling coming full-circle. I grabbed my shoes and socks headed downstairs and shared a few extra minutes to share with my son. I have been standing out in the neighborhood with a fashion statement not seen on any catwalk, but having a chance to walk in the same shoes of my dad I knew I could do a whole lot worse.

It’s getting to be that time of year again, that kids dress up like their favorite super hero. I can’t say I was doing anything different.

I give many thanks to both of my parents for the example they have set for me and continue to blaze their trail everyday. Without their love and support, the three years without a job could have been a lot more difficult. Their willingness to babysit at a moment’s notices still saves the day for us.

I would be equally neglectful not to also mention the same love and support we get from Annette’s mom as well. Even though it’s a longer drive, she’s provided many days and nights of respite to allow Annette and I to get a night out. She’s helped us out when times were a lot more fiscally challenging. Now that we’re a lot more self-sustaining, many thanks and cheers go her way as well.

One of the phrases we use with Nathan a lot now is asking him to “do his job.” To put forth the effort we know he can, growing stronger and smarter everyday. I don’t take my job for granted and know as long as I put for the same type of effort into my job, the future should continue to be bright for all of us.