Defining the role in role model

Aug 12, 2012

Note: Yes, I realize that I’m dating myself with this initial reference, but when it’s the first thing that popped into my mind, I have to admit I’m no spring chicken any more.

Only a little less than two decades ago, Charles Barkley made the comment, “I'm not a role model... Parents should be role models…Just because I dunk a basketball doesn't mean I should raise your kids.”

From the time I heard that quote I agreed with him. Parents are the ones our children should learn from, and they should lead by example and show what’s true for these kids’ challenges can also be true for the parents as well.

In my last posting, I introduced you to Brandon, my co-worker who organizes a group called The Fit United. I follow his group on Facebook and read the workouts he posts and blow most off as things I’m not in condition to do.

At the end of July he posted one which I saw had potential, 300 sit-ups a day for the entire month of August. The intent was to add this to your workout but since my typical workout is simply 100 sit-ups a day, I thought I’d give it a try.

The first day was tough, but I learned that if I broke it into 10 sets of 30 things got a lot easier. With each set I told myself, anyone can do 10 sit-ups, then if I do 5 more, I’ll be halfway done. Another 5, and that’s 2/3 and then let my drive to finish kick in to make it through the last 10.

About the fourth day, I was in charge of watching Nathan while Annette was out. I hadn’t gotten my sit-ups in, so I took Nathan in the basement with me to play on the floor while I got on the bench to bang-out my 10 sets. About halfway through the first set, Nathan rolled to the point where he saw me on the bench and he broke out laughing like he does so many other times.

At first I took offense, thinking I must be flailing away to a point where I just look silly. Then something happened that helped put everything in perspective. As I completed my second set I stood up, walked around a little and worked on starting a load of laundry. During which, Nathan scooted himself over to the bench, reached up, and was patting the inclined pad.

I was intrigued, but my break between sets was over so I moved him back a few feet and grunted my way through another 30. There was a little bit of laughing but Nathan was more focused in getting back over to the bench and reaching out for my shoulder. Could it really be? Nathan decided he wanted his turn.

As I finished my set, I leveled out the bench and hopped him up, his feet hanging over the edge, just like I did. He reached up for my hands, grabbed and immediately started pulling himself up.

Nathan struggles with his core strength but it was abundantly clear that he was putting at least as much effort as I in trying to be just like dad. If I was willing to work (and do “therapy”) he was willing to do his part too. I helped him through a set of 5 and then set him aside to let him rest. (Typically, when he does his sit-ups, if he can do 3, he’s really worked hard.)

I got on to complete another set, and by the time I was done, guess who was tapping me on the shoulder willing to do more himself. I put him back on and together he completed another set of 5. My turn and 30 more, and he was back and ended his night with a personal best set of 10. For a kid who struggles, moans and complains about doing 3 sit-ups, he just completed 20 with no complaints. (at least not until the next day, I know how that feels too.)

After that the motivation for me to do my sit-ups had gotten a lot easier. As I posted on my Facebook page. ‘Sound hard? It is. I told myself I can stop anytime, I just have to look Nathan in the eye and say, "when it gets hard it's okay to give up." ‘ Even on vacation I’ve tried to find a way to get my daily allotment in. Should I have to skip a day, I don’t feel as bad as I previously had two days where I did 600, just to have a cushion.

I couldn’t be more proud to have a child who’s willing to put the effort in, even if he needs to see that others do it too. It’s another bond that he and I have, and it’s these bonds that help each other through the struggles knowing we’ll be stronger in the end.