Going the distance

June 3, 2012

First of all I’d like to apologize for taking so long since making my last update. (Granted for the third year in a row I’ve offered Annette the opportunity to write the posting for Mother’s Day, but she respectfully declines.) I can’t claim that nothing has happened recently worth writing about (and some have even been positive things) but working full-time and tackling personal challenges have really cut into my available time towards the site.

First, I would be remiss if I didn’t talk about Nathan and the bike we borrowed from our PT. The first time the home health aide and I got him on it, I was astounded. I called Annette at work and asked if he had been working on riding during PT. She said no and asked why. I said because he’s doing it all by himself.

For me, it was a truly amazing sight. There were no ropes, no motors, no tricks – my son was riding a bike on his own! He was probably only going 5-10 feet bursts at a time, but he was making the revolutions all on his own. Even rocking back and forth to get his feet in the best spot to move forward. Since that first day, we’ve tried a handful more times, with decent results, but nothing like the shock Nathan gave us all, proving there’s a whole lot more possible than anyone knows.

Now, I’ll regress to my distraction for the last 5-6 weeks. It is that time of year again. Time for the annual Warrior Dash and biggest physical challenge I put myself through. I wrote about it last year, and this year I was convinced I would be better prepared. The distance of the run was listed as 3.5 miles, three-tenths farther than last years. I started off trying to train towards a 5K (3.2 miles) but even that I had never run the full time in the 15 years I had off-and-on run those.

I realized a second problem I was battling was my weight which, had escalated to the highest point of my life. (One record I definitely was not proud of.) I found a calorie counting app on my phone and recorded my eating habits and exercise habits which immediately put my priorities in a very new light. Over the last six weeks, I was able to drop 21 pounds which shifted from my highest point in my life to the lowest in probably 10 years. Along the way, my running got better and farther. In fact, this past week (four days before the Warrior Dash) I was able to run 3.87 miles including a 200 foot hill at the end.

I had been working on my Facebook posting for race day, probably for almost a month. For those who didn’t see it or aren’t Facebook friends (yet), here’s my tribute not just to Nathan but for all those I have met or know, they heart they have and what little credit most people ever give to them:

Today I run for those who can't.
For those who's battles don't last minutes and seconds,
but months and years.
Today, I choose to push myself to the limit,
while they push beyond their setbacks to simply survive.
When I finish my race I will be given a medal,
while they get stares or at most…pity.
I will look back of the photo and think of the day I achieved my goal, while they look back at photos and see how far they've come.
May I never take for granted the gifts God has given me.
Today I call myself a warrior,
while they prove their toughness every day of their lives and get called much worse.
For those who inspire me, and show me how to fight,
Today, I run.

As I rode the bus from the parking lot to the course, I was truly uplifted by the number of people who commented, and encouraged me on my way. I thought about it as I placed the timing chip in my shoe and re-laced it, feeling like I was donning my armor before battle. I thought about running this year among a group of friends, where last year I ran alone. I didn’t have the fear I had last year, I knew I would accomplish my goal. Of course, overconfidence brings its own penalties.

Starting off, I got frustrated at a bottleneck knowing I was already “on the clock.” I knew the hill that broke me down last year was taunting me, and I wanted to take it on. The course varied from 2011, but many of the challenges were still there. The first hill wasn’t the problem this time. The route was lower and there several steep downhill slides just as challenging as the climb.

I approached the first set of obstacles a half-mile in requiring runners to jump over the first, under the second, then over and under two more times each. I vaulted over the first hurdle, and as I ducked and attempted to slide under the second, I felt something pop. One of my quads, didn’t cooperate and gave out on me. I momentarily froze, but knew I had to keep going. Two thoughts popped into my head “What would Nathan do?” and “What would I expect Nathan to do?” (knowing he couldn’t communicate something like that, my expectation would be for him to keep working like he had been.) With that in my head, I pressed on.

Up next was a climb even farther than the first. I could no longer maintain a run, but I kept moving forward. Every time the ground leveled out we all hoped it was the top, but several more times, the path kept climbing higher. My leg was hurting, but still had to be less than what Nathan goes through which kept me from giving up.

Any place I could use my upper body, I would. I never really rolled, but staying on my feet and squatting was always replaced be crawling. Traversing the downhill grades, I protected my right leg like a wounded paw. I never truly tumbled, as many did, but had some moments I wasn’t sure if I could maintain myself.

If the ground leveled out, I found that jogging felt better than walking. Climbing (an obstacle) was better than jogging. As the miles rolled on, I knew I had nothing to really prove, but a great role model at home I would have to look in the eye later on. The final obstacles passed, I could jump over the fire (off my left leg) with little problem and crawl through the mud putting the bulk of the weight on my arms. Coming to my feet was a challenge, but crossing the line gave a satisfaction that for all of those who supported me, helped get me to the end.

It didn’t take to long for me to decide I would not show the medal or post my time. (for the difference in distance, it was relatively the same.) I wasn’t the first in my group, nor the last, but I know for all the strength I worked on to get to the starting line. It took a lot more outside help to make it to the finish.

I have two more events this summer, and I hesitate to use the word race. First, speed can become very secondary to finishing. Second, I entered these events to push myself, test myself, see how well I could make it through, but I’ve learned that in cases like this, I wouldn’t make it through without a little (or a lot) of help from my friends.

Nathan starts his fourth session of intensive PT this week (back in Cincinnati.) Annette will be making nearly all of the daily treks over the next three weeks. I expect there will be more successes, more sore muscles (for him, not me) and continued results as the last sessions have shown.

My leg is already on the mend. I’ll bet by the end of the week, I won’t even know how it feels now. I still think back to those who endure the stiffness, soreness and frustration of muscles that don’t do what you want them to do the majority of the time. I hope to always be there to help those I can, because you’re always with me where ever I go.

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