Not feeling the love

Feb. 19, 2012

Have I ever told you how much I hate February? It’s not just about Valentine’s Day, although that doesn’t help. The only reason to set aside a day to celebrate the ones we love is if we haven’t done a good enough job the rest of the year. Why not actually change the rest of the year instead of thinking 24 hours can make up for being a jerk on a regular basis.

The main reason I dislike this month is an unknown for our family. For some reason Nathan seems to have “issues” this time of year. It’s the fourth year in a row, with the only consolation being that the seizure-like activity hasn’t manifested itself to nearly the extreme it was in 2009. The best way I can describe what we’ve been seeing is interrupted muscular activity.

For example, if trying to raise his arms when an episode occurs, his arms will raise two inches up and one inch back. After about 10 seconds he will get his arms up, but not in the effective means he’s used to. When he was having his seizures, it would effect his whole body and would leave him in generally the same position he was at the start only leaving him weaker and embarrassed.

We have found other people who seem to have similar issues this time of year. No one knows if it’s real of made up, and if it is real, no one knows why. It’s frustrating when he’s been showing so much progress and trying so hard. This past week, Nathan’s energy level has been way down, his sleep patterns erratic, and eating has been hit-or-miss.

Nathan’s life is one great equilibrium. Balancing caloric intake, sleep, activities, constipation, and everything else. When one factor shifts, it effects every other aspect of his life. It’s not a linear balance, but more of a 3-D, balance-board. There’s a lot of wiggling, balancing, plate spinning, that occurs and at the end of the day, we just hope there’s not a shattered mess to clean up.

I know there’s no direct correlation between the seasonal problems and the date. This winter has been extremely more mild that others, yet still the parallels exist. As if we didn’t all have spring fever already, it seems to be breathing down our necks. We will always have something to pray for, but many other reasons to give thanks. For all of our struggles, our blessings are greater, and greater yet is He who can overcome it all. As long as our faith is strong, there is nothing we can’t overcome.

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