Intelligence inside

Feb. 13, 2011

There are many different ways of being smart. I’ve been called several different smart variations, for instance smart-aleck on top of others not appropriate to post on the site. Some people talk about street-smarts vs. book-smarts, but in the end what does it really mean.

For a while now, Annette and I, as well as several teachers, therapists, friends and others have felt that Nathan’s a lot more intelligent than he’s leading on. The problem is finding out what he can do opposed to what he’s willing to do. We are all realistic knowing that whatever the truth is, it’s below his age equivalent, but if we can unlock some of his potential, we won’t have to over-simplify things below what he is capable.

In March 2010, Annette started the process to see if there is someone out there who can better measure what’s going on, against what his physical limitations allow him to do. Through countless phone calls, research, asking around, and trying to get a hold of the right people we finally had the chance to sit down to try to make progress. The process only took nine months, as many forms as it takes to buy a house (many filled out more than once for different people, or possibly the same for who-knows-why.) Finally we had our initial discussion, only to set up a test another 6 weeks out, and then results and interpretations another three weeks later.

As expected, the major roadblock in our way is finding a way to get a true measurement. Most evaluations are based upon the subject’s ability to communicate with the person administering the test. There are some tests for those with speech impairments, but those rely on good gross- and fine-motor skills, neither of which are Nathan’s forte.

Still we pushed on and Nathan underwent the evaluation. It was very interesting to see the tasks asked of him and how he would respond. There were times it was hard for me to sit in the room, and not ask questions, make comments, or justify what he was doing. There are some tasks, he could complete right away, barely allowing the tester to get out the instructions, before he would respond. Others provided more of a challenge.

One task he was asked to accomplish was to twist a simple cap onto a bottle. He watched the psychologist do it, she handed him the bottle and he handed it right back to her, almost saying, “I know what you want, but I know I can’t do it.”

At times like that, I thought of the old adage, “A wise man knows what he does not know.” I knew the test would show a failed task, but I wanted there to be some type of note that he didn’t just stare, looking confused, but just conceded that his fingers just don’t work like that yet.

When we got the results, the information is hard for any parent to hear. Knowing that the scores aren’t going to be good, but just how far back is never easy to hear. When “the bright side” is now he officially qualifies for assistance, it really doesn’t offset that scale with much comfort. Still the results showed what we already knew, that the skills he’s mastered are on a low level, but there are scattered skills that he can do at twice that level or beyond. Still it doesn’t give us any clear answers as to how to pursue building those skills. Do we focus on growing the skills at the end of the mastering level, or jump over skills here and there to accomplish what he seems most interested in at any given time?

We faced a similar crossroads in physical therapy a while back. When faced with Nathan’s difficulties crawling, we chose to bypass crawling and try walking. For those who don’t know, crawling takes more muscle coordination that walking. This was a good decision as far as Nathan was concerned. We’d never be where we are now if we didn’t jump ahead. Now we’re trying to incorporate crawling back into the routine as Nathan shows interest on his own. I guess he’s like his dad learning things better when I’m ready (and have an idea on how I can use that new skill) instead of learning things not knowing if/when it will be useful.

So now, we’re not too much farther than we were, other than having documentation that Nathan’s mind isn’t as limited as some have thought. Some want to talk about potential, but as I was told growing up – Potential is just a fancy word that means you haven’t done anything yet. It won’t keep us from pursuing what may be possible, what it seems can be done of how far we can go. It’s a reminder of not closing any open door that’s out there.

Smart, to me, is still a qualitative word, not a quantitative one. I don’t consider IQ to be a determining factor in quality of life. Heck, I’ve survived this far, and know I don’t want to know what anyone says IQ is. It won’t change what type of parent I am, who my friends are, or what future I lead. As long as I have a family who loves me, friends that support me and a God who provides our needs there’s not much else I need to know.

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