Simple gifts

Jan. 6, 2013

Tonight I got the best birthday present I’ve received in a long time, the sound of my wife laughing.

For many people turning 40 causes stress, reflection, regret and depression, but at least tonight (with another day to go) I feel at peace. I admit that I’m not easy to shop for. If there’s something I want (and can pay for on the credit card,) I buy it. There’s no asking, waiting, wanting – it’s done.

My wife not only faced the usual problems trying to find me a gift, but this year there’s a round number in my age, and (even though it’s not needed) I’m guessing she was feeling a little more pressure.

Call it fate, coincidence, “a God thing” or anything else, she heard a radio commercial for a comic coming to our town this weekend. Knowing I’m nothing if not a jokester, it made for a good opening, then the comic was announced … Josh Blue.

For those that don’t know, Josh is a stand up comedian who really come to fame a little over six years ago, during NBC’s Last Comic Standing. Josh made everyone laugh, but watching him, something seemed a little different with him. He was self-deprecating, like many comics are, but there were times when you we’re sure if it was politically-correct to laugh. He talked about being on the U.S. National Special Olympic soccer team. He wasn’t looking for sympathy, but acknowledged that his body didn’t move like most.

It was around this same time, when we learned of Nathan’s diagnosis. I still remember the nights crying in bed next to Annette wondering what Nathan’s life may lead and what, if any potential, he would have. (If you have read my page under the About my son link above you’ll see this was the time we were told by our doctor to take our child home, put him in a wheelchair and try to keep him happy, he probably won’t do much more than smile.)

A few episodes on the TV show later, it was confirmed that Josh has CP (a secondary condition for Nathan, coinciding with PMG). I remember feeling bad for laughing at his jokes, not because he was funny, but concerned that I would be laughing at Nathan who, at his best, would be in the same situation. Josh went on to win the show’s grand prize, but there was a part of me that wondered if I could ever really laugh in good conscious again.

To be honest, I only remotely followed Josh for the next several years. I would wish him well from afar, but never wanted him to hear me laugh, afraid that he would think I was laughing at him and not with him.

Early this past week, I got a text from Annette saying “You and me – hot date Sunday.” At first, I thought a coworker hijacked her phone and was playing a prank on me, but I decided to play along. In the end, I learned that she and I would be going to the local comedy club, to see Josh Blue.

I was excited and nervous. I wanted to see the show, but hoped that there wouldn’t be something that would depress me, regarding life with CP; something that others would find funny, but those who live with it, know is all too serious. However, Josh performed a great set, the highlight of which I don’t think many people could appreciate as much as Annette and myself.

Talking about his Asian wife and visiting her family, eating at the low-rise tables and trying to bend a body, battling with CP, to eat with the others. He said, “It’s like trying to perform origami with a sheet of plywood.” There were laughs in the crowd, but for Annette and I, it was one of those “Aha!” moments, where we could finally find something to relate with the others who don’t understand what it’s like working with Nathan.

After the show, we found a way to stall and let the others out first, knowing the comedians would greet their new fans at the door. Annette excused herself to the restroom and when I saw an opening, I approached Josh to share our appreciation.

I walked up to him and immediately wanted to shake his hand. Even though left-handed, I extend the right and I saw him, pull his arm back. (The arm I should have known was the one he has the hardest time controlling.) Still, he shook my hand and I shared our story. I told him that the time when (just after getting Nathan’s diagnosis) we felt our lowest, learning his diagnosis, was the same time he gave us hope, and if Nathan could have half the success as he, that everything would somehow be okay. His response was all I could hope for. He simply said, “Wow!”

Josh Blue and Annette About that time Annette joined us and she immediately asked for a hug. Josh obliged and I was able to snap a photo. As we thanked him again, he gave us a CD (that wasn’t our intent, but we were happy to take it.) In response, we bought one of his DVDs, which he was happy to sign for us. Annette then responded, “of course now I’ll need another hug.” Again, he had no objection.

We walked back to our car with some of the best feelings we’ve had in a long time. I have to say, it’s been one of the best birthdays in a long time. And it’s not even official, at least not for another 24 hours.

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