Sometimes 1 + 1 + 1 equals 0

Nov. 14, 2010

Nathan’s birthday celebration continued into this week. Grandma Helen was able to come down Saturday and brought more gifts, but the biggest present was ready for pick up on Tuesday. Nathan’s new (bigger) walker/gait trainer was finally here. Nathan and I went over to pick it up and it didn’t take very long before he was stepping around the showroom. Now his feet won’t drag behind him, it makes him use his whole foot to step and, with the greater vertical range, he could stand more upright.

This was the last piece for the whole, new, walking-Nathan. He just got the proper fitting leg braces (AFOs) two weeks ago, he got a new pair of Crocs at his party and the new walker completed the trifecta. We could barely wait for school to come Wednesday morning, letting Nathan strut down the hallways, burst through the door and become a little closer to his classmates.

As we pulled in front of the school, we got the same parking spot we normally had, got to school the same time as usual, and the weather was great for a November morning. I got the walker out, put him inside and grabbed his bag, ready to head for the door. Instead, nothing happened. His head drooped, arms flopped and legs froze flat on the ground. It wasn’t that he couldn’t move, for some reason he didn’t want to. The walk that normally takes 8-10 minutes, took over 20. No giggles, very few smiles, and no cooperation.

It’s no secret that we are Buckeye fans. One perk of Annette’s work is her opportunity to buy tickets to the football games. It’s one of the few things she and I try to get out to do on our own while someone (normally Grandma Helen) spends the day with Nathan. This past week, Ohio State played Penn State, coached by Joe Paterno as they have been since seven years before I was born. Paterno has led Penn State to amazing heights, winning national championships, and producing All-Americans in many positions. He surrounds himself with high-quality assistants, coordinators and staff who all contribute to quality teams year-in and year-out.

In today’s world, people sometimes only at real-time results, “what have you done for me lately” and search for someone to blame for anything other than first place. While at the football game, there were fans ready to fire Jim Tressel (OSU's coach) at halftime, but turned around wanting to give him a raise before the 3rd quarter was over. Some call Paterno too old for coaching, ready to send him to the retirement home. The truth is, he’s the coach, not a player. Joe Paterno has not physically lost a game in 46 years, nor has he won any. He hasn't thrown any touchdown passes or missed any tackles. He’s made decisions good and bad, but it’s the conditioning, preparation and execution from the players that determined the outcome.

For the last two and a half years, my primary job has been to be Nathan’s coach. Not knowing anything about the task at hand, there are many specialists, better known as teachers, therapists, peer parents, and family members on our team. We fight day-after-day, week-after-week to help Nathan maximize his skills and grow stronger. When Nathan doesn't use his skills, it hits me like a 300 pound lineman. I see it as a failure on my part. It can seriously ruin my entire day. Maybe I didn’t prepare him the way he needed. Nevertheless, pin the loss on me, and blame no one else.

It's times like this I need to take a step back and look at the big picture. Even our mighty Buckeyes lose a game every now-and-again. As a matter of fact, OSU still had a shot for the national championship with a loss on their record. One setback does not a failure make.

At the beginning of the summer we thought we’d be thrilled if Nathan walked to the far end of the street. Instead, he walked the whole way around the block. Person-after-person, and doctor-after-doctor are excited to see Nathan moving on his own, doing things no one thought possible.

I’m still very proud to wear the title of being Nathan’s dad. I can only hope to have the success of Joe Paterno and continue to have the great supporting cast, to lead in the ways that I can’t. Not everyday is a victory, but the good days definitely outnumber the bad. There is always tomorrow, (or in the case of school, there is always Tuesday) and good things seem to continue to happen. It’s my job to help prepare, but I can’t control Nathan’s ability/desire to execute. He makes it so obvious that he lives to make Annette and I proud, but that’s another story for another week.

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