Rearick...pity party of 1

Oct. 10, 2010

In many ways I know my life is like most others. We all deal with our own battles, those which we contest on a daily basis and those which “always hit at the worst possible time.” When these events rear their ugly head, we’re convinced that no one has it as bad as we do.

The other side that hits all families, especially special-need families, is the financial aspect. I find myself getting down for not being able to contribute as much as I think that I would/should, if I had a job, but alas it’s not my choice that I spend so many hours at home a week. It’s just another aspect of life I have to put in God’s hands and trust that there is a better master plan. I just need the patience to seek what He has in store for me and our family.

After a repair to Annette’s car and then finding out the fix to the fridge really didn’t fix it, any money I have coming in for the projects I’ve been working on seems to already be spent. Annette works hard, especially on the weeks she’s on-call, which means even less time for her to spend with us.

But just when I think the world’s completely crashing in, I look over at Nathan and everything falls back into perspective.

I have a son who has to fight for everything, and yet he’s often asking for more. He’s progressed so much lately. This week he completed another lap around the block, and this time Annette got to see it too. He still goes at his own pace, and I think it took just under an hour. When we made it home and I thought his little legs had taken all they could, I took him out of the walker and carried him inside.

Almost instantaneously as I got him out of the walker, the unhappiness began. Inside, I laid him on the floor and the crying started. I had to go back out to bring in the walker and he wailed, because he still wanted to be upright and in the walker. He knows it’s more work, but since that’s how everyone else spends their time, he wanted to as well.

This week at school, I snuck in the observation room one day while they were finishing up their craft. I could see Nathan looking around at what the other kids were doing and he would do it too. The teacher was helping move the paper, but for the first time in four years at school he was interested in using the adaptive scissors. He was cutting out his craft, just like the other kids.

Everyday he signs his name (by completing a letter puzzle) because the other kids are signing their names. He enjoys walking to the hooks where we can hang up his bag and coat, because that's what the other kids do, even though it’s a little extra work.

Annette shares the story from her trip to Uganda and how the kids would sing songs as they walked many miles going to and from school everyday. It seems that people here, throw up their hands (myself included) when faced with a little extra challenge. Nothing in life comes without a fight. Nothing comes without a cost. If I learn to look past the price of a task, and be thankful for the ability to do what I can, and earn what I can, everything still fits within the realm of possibility.

There is a time and season for everything, and my purpose is not to complain about what I don’t have, but be thankful for what I do. When Nathan and I play on the floor and he rolls over and hand me his braces and shoes, it’s a good reminder we need to get to work, and keep striving to get better. If I have half the heart to put into my battles what he puts into his, we’ll overcome any problem.

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