The Class of 2010

June 6, 2010

My wife and I are members of a very exclusive club. The strange thing is we never asked for membership. There’s no secret handshake, no midnight initiation. As a matter of fact most people never want to get in. Membership costs are basically your first-born, or in some cases your second or third. The group is a very special group of parents with some very special kids. Most people want to smack the label of special-need on there, but to me, and the rest of the group we’re all just special.

It’s amazing the connection that the kids first make with each other, then with the other parents, making the parents form a lasting bond with each other as well. If one faces a hospital stay or operation, the others send gifts and cards. Over the past two years, I’ve been the one dropping-off and picking-up Nathan from school. I see the kids everyday, and I can tell you who’s absent if one is in the bathroom or home sick. The kids recognize me too, and sometimes I’ve learned, they know me too well. They’re the ones who initially titled me Nathan’s Dad, a badge I still wear with honor.

One day last year, I wasn’t able to pick Nathan up and Annette came over to get him. One of Nathan’s best friends, had not net Annette yet and was mortified that someone else was taking him away. At the time he couldn’t talk, but he yelled and pointed and made sure the teacher and any other adult knew what was going on. He wasn’t going to let anything happen to Nathan. How many 3 years olds are that protective of others, especially outside their biological family. These kids care and love each other.

There’s only a couple of opportunities for the parents to see each other and interact. Even on these few occasions they know all the other kids’ names, and can marvel in the progress that each one makes. It’s always such a happy time, with little need to share stories as the victories show themselves in the faces and lives of each other.

This past week was “graduation” day for Nathan’s school and another “club meeting” if I may call it that. It was Nathan’s third in three years at this school, and since he should be heading back in the fall, he’ll be due for another next year. Like any special occasion, parents had camera and video cameras. I almost worried about having the event indoors as any child with light sensitivity had the potential of trouble with all the flashes going off. That’s when I realized that every parent took pictures of every kid. Afterward there’s always the confirming of each other’s e-mail as they’re anxious to share the great photos they captured of each classmate.

Each child plays a key role in the success of every other one. This year after all the certificates were handed out, Nathan’s class had a special presentation, a dance to a song they all enjoyed at circle time. All joined in, some in their wheelchairs, and one of the college helpers helping Nathan stand and wiggle his hips. For two minutes, every parent forgot about the special-needs of any of the kids and just relished in how special they were together.

Every year there may be a new student, or one or two either head out for their home district, or potentially farther away as life pulls us. You see the parents new to the group, some embarrassed, some shy, some in denial that they should be there. I remember my first gathering, fighting the acceptance that everyone else seemed to have, but I learned this is a victory group, not a group that feels sorry for themselves. Now, I often wish we had more times to get together. I hope that some of them visit this website as I know I enjoy visiting theirs. For someone who never wanted to be in the group, you couldn’t pry me away from it now. I have never found a more classy group of people to be associated, and I doubt I ever will.

The end of the school year can be hard for parents too. I know I won’t miss the drive, but I will miss seeing the growth that springs everyday. Summer session is only two weeks away, but still there’s a sense of anticipation as to what will grow in those 14 days. Outside of the school walls, time seems longer, battles often seem harder. There’s something special about everything with this group, and I proudly hold on to this membership for life.

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