Are you talking about me?

May 23, 2010

Sometimes it’s way to easy to underestimate my son. In many ways he’s like most of us, not wanting to put in more effort than he has to, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t understand what’s going on.

For instance, Abbi has a new PT student for the next several weeks. We’ve had two sessions with her observing and, as usual for Nathan, he played possum the first week. He won’t show anyone new what he can do as there may be a level of expectation later on. This past week he started doing what he can, especially when he could show off that he could do the advanced exercises better than the standard ones.

After last week’s posting talking about the things I say and do, and not letting on what he understands and what he wants us to think he can’t, he showed us up once again. Tuesday night (the evening after our PT session) I was giving Annette the rundown of the things Abbi and I discussed and how we’re almost at a crossroads right now. The three of us agree that Nathan has seemed to have plateaued in his progress in walking. The problem is we don’t know if it’s a strength problem or a motivation problem.

Abbi was the first to admit that since the weather has been bad the last two Tuesdays and there’s been little chance to go outside, the chance to walk back and forth in the gym really doesn’t seem exciting, so why would Nathan want to do it? This past week he did better since we did some other exercises and when it came time to walk, I helped get him settled in the walker, then I picked up his bag and coat and headed for the door. (When Dad’s leaving without you, going through three doors in the process, there’s a whole new motivation involved.) He did well in his intent, giggling all the way, the problem is, if we don’t leave, you can’t try a second time because now it’s just an idle threat.

At home, it’s harder to use the same walker we use at PT, because there’s always someone with him and someone for him to chase. At home, most of the time he’s been in the walker it’s just been with me, and if I’m helping, there’s no one or nothing motivating him. (Now back to the original story,) Abbi suggested that the next time Jessi came over, to put him in the older (heavier) walker we have and see if that would get him moving. Nathan is still very Pavlovian where if the doorbell rings, he gets all excited that someone is coming to see him.

Annette and I both thought it would be a good idea, as Jessi comes on Wednesdays so we wouldn’t lose much time and we wouldn’t forget about it. We did talk about warning Jessi about being the bait and if we didn’t make it to the door right away, it may be because he’s navigating a turn, or something like that.

Nathan had been playing on the floor quietly and contently for quite a while, but apparently Jessi is one of the words he knows well, and he just heard it three times in five minutes of conversation, “When Jessi comes over,” “Make sure you call Jessi,” “I’m sure Jessi won’t mind.” All of the sudden there was a big squeal from the floor. The legs started pumping and kicking. The arms started waving, screaming, “Let me up! Let me up! Let me up!” I went over to him and lifted him to his feet, and he ran over to the hallway convinced Jessi was on her way. He was staring at the front door, jumping up and down, “It’s time! It’s time! I get to see my Jessi!” Needless to say there was more than a bit of disappointment when he learned it was a false alarm, and Jessi was not coming over in the dark.

Still Wednesday came and we ran our “test” but didn’t get any conclusive results. The doorbell rang. His squealing began. The legs wiggled and jumping ensued, but no great motion of the walker. He still throws himself back which doesn’t help to move you forward. We still don’t know the source of the walking issues, but we have learned our lesson about talking in front of Nathan and knowing he’s understanding more than we think.

I don’t see myself being one of those parents who spells everything, that has it’s own downfalls in my household. Nathan is showing us new things day after day. It may not be keeping up with the standard 4-year-old checklist, but still he’s showing that he’s making strides. I don’t know who to attribute this quote to, but it’s always been one of my favorites. “Potential is a fancy word that means you haven’t done anything yet.” I can proudly say I don’t see any potential in my son, only promise.

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